Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in poweredbytofu's LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 ]

Tuesday, December 19th, 2006
3:38 am	the return! to dreamworld most of the time i love my dreams, but reading my half-awake handwriting is quite uncomfortable - i can still feel the heart beating between my molars: an important man in a white tuxedo is reviewing flashcards before heading to a banquet. "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen" he repeats in tones high, low... he is pacing back and forth, head swiveling towards the mirror as he passes. he stops and runs to the glass, two hands on his cheek. "Shit! Shit. Shit!" he repeats again. "shitshitshitshit" he pulls a razor out from the cabinet and starts working furiously on the edge of his face. blood stains his right shoulder, lapel, collar, dripping on the marble sink and brass fixtures "good evening, ladies and gentlemen." his blood wicks up his trousers, his feet are slipping - he rips the sleeve halfway off his jacket - he bolts out of the door and hops on his motorcycle - he tears out of his gate onto his well-paved road, rural fences and hedges 10 minutes from manhattan, devilish grin on his face, eyes lit up from inside. pulling to the right he leaps off his bike going 30 miles per hour, tumbling to a stop in the middle of the road. a black SUV, probably an escalade? drives by, stops next to him. a gloved hand reaches out and drops a dog biscuit onto his stained coat. the car begins circling his still breathing body, the glove produces more bones - one, two, three times, more, treats covering the guy. it rights itself and drives off. dust rises slowly from the body, forgetting about gravity. "good evening, ladies and gentlemen" in other news, ian got eaten by flourescent orange mountain lions, i fell in love four times, and squatted a pier for the majority of my life. imagine the genius, using duct tape to guard your hummer from land mines. (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, December 4th, 2006
4:42 am	my belly is allergic to the chrysalis of loveall it could be said that i feel like anyone imagined right now: if you kill something, eat it for christ's sake, dont let the guards find it in the morning Current Music: pelican (Comment on this)
Saturday, August 5th, 2006
12:18 pm	Guadalajara This city is sinking. Born dead, it is spreading eating itself from the inside spilling half digested food and crimson everywhere over the farms the country the mountains. The few honest places left are melting, stone and all crumbling into the carrion, a sad copper bench, a sign depicting a man slipping to his death, a tree grown out of a severed limb. The bark is getting thicker, sap slowly oozing and crushing inside out. The shouts of punks playing soccer twigs and rocks goals grass cut rose bushes cut trees cut all echoing against a thousand cars belching broken surf noises this is no beach. a patch of oil sticks to the hell of a young boy. five or six. hands held high to the clouds that only magnify the sun he is asking something from the sky what is he saying can you hear it? tar between his toes, up his leg, spurting from his ears his eyes his mouth screaming at the sky a mound of asphault sits on a sidewalk in the barrio antiguo. the walls can be seen through spectral trees. Red house, brown house, green house try to fight back an army of grey "We´re running out of color sir!!" orders come from above. They look to the sidewalks, the gum has been stepped on and turned black. They ask the parks but they are greedy jealous old ghouls and hide behind fences topped with broken glass, Coca-Cola, cervezas jaws to the lazy off-white clouds. rebar sticks out from half finished half inhabitable homes. The garage door of an American factory yawns in the Mexican afternoon. Copper benches branches fall down into the carnage cut cut cut from the city that was once a town. Current Music: cars and horns what else (Comment on this)
Thursday, July 6th, 2006
3:52 am	weird I've been remembering lots of dreams lately. I had a particularly strange one last night... from my journal: Last night i had a dream that i was back where i was born i n North Carolina. I was in a bar in a sad commercial strip in the middle of the campus i had played all through as a kid, red brick buildings and ivy and magnolia trees and all. A familiar face came up, in the bar, to me and my friends, i forget which friends now. She knew me but i didn't know her. She had dirty blonde hair and olive skin and a thin figure that screamed survival, beautiful and foreign and friendly. I struck up a conversation with her. It came out fairly quickly that apparently i had a baby with her? There was a moment where i was ridiculously confused. Nothing was there but the bar lights and her face, looking back at me and grinning, the grin fading, and then it all came back to me - i loved her, more than anything else i loved her and i had been searching for her for how long i dont know now. But the fact that i had a child seemed inconsequential compared ot that one fact, that i had FOUND her, she was right there infront of my eyes, my real eyes, and she seemed happy to see me. I was proud, i was a would be father and had i had a job in this dream i would have gone to work the next day grinning foolishly at all the tired coworkers i would be bothering. "I'm gonna be a daddy" i would say. so there i was, beaming at all these friends who i can't name or face, the love of my life newly found and everything perfect to the dream me, and all i could think about is going out. Just picking up my lover and bolting out somewhere else, where i cant remember. It's all slipping away now, but out.. I think i got called into the dentist at that point? I dont know why this dream was so weird.. after typing that shit out it isnt really extraordinary in any way.. it just struck me this morning and gave me a stomach ache for half the day. So anyway i have a cavity that i'm getting filled on friday (boo) and my wisdom teeth are getting pulled next wednesday (BOO) and i need to get my drivers liscence renewed or i wont make it across the border (boo) and newbury park is a very very difficult place to find friends to spend time with that dont act weird around you or avoid you because you aren't drinking (BOOOO). In a side note spending time with my family rules, amory is down here and that rules, and talking with people you used to see every day but haven't in weeks rules. bulldozing a community farm to build a wal-mart sucks. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. fuck. that news gave me the 2nd half of my stomach ache day. ugh. Current Mood: stomachache Current Music: whir (Comment on this)
Sunday, July 2nd, 2006
12:34 am	wee the suburbs are depressing but so are cities.... and so is farmland... ugh. Current Mood: stomachache Current Music: america (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, June 10th, 2006
1:42 am	Our love is like Jesus, but worse - though you seal the cave up where you’ve lain its body, it rises. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 7th, 2006
1:34 pm	i just had the weirdest dream i was at school and i was told that i was supposed to be in ecuador, that i had told them that i would go there and that i was to be held to that promise. i flew in and started waiting in line for my blood/drugtest/inoculation. I was waiting and the TV kept playing pharmacutical commercials - over and over with bright logos and american products being sold on beijing tv? in ecuador? Then my brothers ex natasha came up out of nowhere and it somehow made sense to me that she had been abroad for a year and was supposed to be here anyway. it dawned on me and i gave her a huuge hug. we talked for a while then she got drug tested as they played really vulgar music really loud in the lobby. Then rachel came in (i was really surprised). i asked her why she was there and i forgot what she said. i started trying to organize my stuff. i had my bag and a guitar case looking thing and a bunch of free bags with headphones and other wires stuck in it that i couldn't untangle. i just kept pulling and pulling and getting frustrated and never lifting up any of the bags that were ontop of the cords. it was about this time that i realized that i was supposed to be going home in a week and a half and none of my friends or family knew that i was now in ecuador for 4 months. Natasha and i's interactions became awkward. she left without me noticing. i kept fucking with my bags. i was crying at this point. i looked down the long hallway (brick walls with a really bright glass door at the end to the town outside through which i had came) and rachel is opening the door with 3 or 4 small bags wrapped around her, looking back at me and not saying anything. she walks out and i stare at my mass of shit and wake up expecting to be in ecuador but ending up on my couch. wtf? Current Mood: tired still Current Music: jet planes flying overhead (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, May 13th, 2006
10:55 pm	i totally got an email today saying i'm gonna have a poem published in one of the campus lit journals. yay.. my first time submitting too! and i've been seeing so many pelicans and herons up close recently it gives me goosebumps Current Mood: hot face Current Music: peni from living room (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, March 24th, 2006
1:54 am	fuck this so my left knee is totally shot. i can't stand or walk well at all. it hurts a fuckton when i am sitting down, and its getting worse. Current Mood: ugh Current Music: ugh (13 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 21st, 2006
4:31 pm	hahahahaha so I am writing my final essay for my modern poetry class and have been "working" on it for 3+ hours and have half a page written and just mispelled "at" and when i right clicked it to fix it the first spelling suggestion was "ADD". i find this funny. Current Mood: i'm not a computer Current Music: blue pistachio shells on my desk (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, March 6th, 2006
8:28 pm	fuck (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 25th, 2006
11:18 pm	there are times (lots of them) when i hate my literature classes. boy i love the material but i HATE the pretentious nonsense that goes with it.. there's so much i should put in here but i am supposed to be writing a paper and must get back to the epic sweeping introduction that i plan to fill half of it with Current Mood: ugh Current Music: its raining (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, January 12th, 2006
2:55 am	i am losing something i need (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, December 24th, 2005
12:44 am	Robot Jox finally came in the mail! This movie was my favorite movie when I first moved to california in 1992. It is now, again, one of my favorite movies in 2005. Wow, what a stellar piece of cinema. Princess Mononoke still owns me though. I finally got that yesterday. Current Mood: NO ORANGE JUICE!!! Current Music: robot jox theme song (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, December 12th, 2005
5:04 pm	home i'm home! last night curlupanddie and countervail was awesome. it was curlupanddie's 2nd to last show (last one outside of vegas) and it was soo energetic and emotional.. plus i hadn't seen countervail yet and they ruled - its strange to finally see a band that you have been listening to for years but never got the chance to check out live. I haven't had that happen to me in a long time. Plus i saw sooo many old faces that i had forgotten existed almost.. it was overwhelming and amazing. today i did lots of walking and biking.. did the hidden valley loop - it was very relaxing the weather down here is beautiful! thats the best thing about socal hopefully i can keep busy Current Mood: relaxed Current Music: an arrow in flight (Comment on this)
Thursday, December 8th, 2005
3:34 pm	woah I'm done with finals!!! I finished my last one 30 minutes before it was due and had to lance armstrong up to campus to get it in on time :) I'm so glad this term is over, the coursework wasnt hard but it was very uninteresting for the most part.. the second half was cool though I guess. Hopefully next term will be better, though I am doubting it. We'll see. Limp Wrist last night ruled! They are a touring party.. I'm not sure how excited I am to go home for break again.. I'm hoping to get a good amount of reading done that I have wanted to do all term and there are a couple shows that I am excited about, but I will dearly miss my friends in Santa Cruz. Plus I will hardly get to say hi to Matt before I go.. All of you across the street make me happy all over and through. Thank you!! It is going to rule when everyone moves in in January! Current Mood: calm Current Music: gm (Comment on this)
Sunday, December 4th, 2005
10:14 pm	mike's excited, are you? Current Mood: happy Current Music: conan the barbarian (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, December 3rd, 2005
3:41 am	This, my friends, is the chronicle of the brave Novembeard. He started out living a peaceful life on my face, growing and thriving for a month with his companion the spoon. However, he had known since he was mere stubble that this bland life was not for him. He had to seek out his true place in the world. He traveled over majestic waters and through torrential downpours to the great Cedar, only to find his arch-nemesis Quattro waiting - plotting against him. He confronted Quattro in a vicious hail of blades and hair, taking hits from all sides. He had underestimated his nemesis' strength - he had to get away using his magical pony, Dreamshear. Badly hurt and bleeding the last of his life away, he salvaged himself and fled from the great Cedar to his haven in the hills.The damage was too great, however, and the wounds he sustained battling his nemesis eventually took him to the great beyond. Let us, as fellow adventurers in this earth, have a moment of silence for scrappy, courageous Novembeard, without whom we are lost. Current Mood: glorious Current Music: piccolo solo (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 29th, 2005
7:08 pm	today i was told that i look like a bum rachel and i reconciled so much of our shit two nights ago. i am so relieved, and still after all this time amazed. looking through old pictures is neat, especially when you have someone to look at them with Current Music: ahp (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 15th, 2005
12:15 am	the sea lions echoed from the opposing cliff and i stared and stared at the water between black patches light patches moonlight waves and oil slicks            all reminded me of the beaches i went to as a child                    when i didnt know anything of this when i was a child and i knew everything something that took me a long time to forget Current Mood: alone in the wind Current Music: swiss vanilla almond ice cream (Comment on this)